September 10, 2000
DEATH TO SMOOCHY
Screenplay by Adam Resnick
Synopsis by Brian Aldrich
RANDOLPH SMILEY was once the king of the kid shows. His show, “Rainbow Randolph and the Krinkle Kids,” generated tons of cash for the network. Then, the Feds busted Randolph for accepting bribes. His show was cancelled; his career was finished. His mentor at the network, FRANK STOKES, the head of Children’s programming, is ordered to find a squeaky clean replacement. Stokes and his V.P., cynical and aggressive, NORA BISHOP, reluctantly decide on third rate loser SHELDON MOPES, “SMOOCHY the Rhino.”
Nora finds idealistic Sheldon entertaining patients at a methadone clinic. Sheldon’s show is produced and marketed on a grand scale. Stokes refuses Randolph’s pleas for help. Nora puts naive Sheldon in his place. Sheldon meets Randolph’s former agent BURKE BENNETT who convinces Sheldon that he can get him the money and then the power to do his show his way. Jealous Randolph tries to ruin Sheldon’s show, but his plan backfires on him and Sheldon saves the day. Burke uses the incident to get Sheldon a better deal as an executive producer on the show with complete creative control, part-ownership, merchandizing discretion, and a penthouse. Burke gives Sheldon a gun for protection from Randolph. Burke introduces Sheldon to his biggest fan, SPINNER DUNN, a brain bruised former heavyweight boxer connected to the Irish mob. Former Kindle Kid, ANGELO PIKE, has been forced to become a “Rhinette” for Sheldon’s show. Randolph calls on him for help. Sheldon tries to befriend Nora, but she isn’t interested. Irish mobster TOMMY “asks” Sheldon to put his cousin Spinner in the show. Sheldon finds it difficult to handle the day to day bribes, threats, and personal agendas that go along with producing. Burke is disappointed when ethical Sheldon refuses to sign for a lucrative ice show. Randolph threatens Sheldon by phone. Sheldon finds Spinner a not-so-harmless place in the band. Charity thugs, MERV and HENRY, threaten to kill Sheldon if he doesn’t do the ice show. Burke advises Sheldon to cooperate. Drunken Nora shows up at Sheldon’s penthouse to apologize. They are each the only other honest person they know. They break through to one another and kiss. Randolph fools Sheldon into walking on stage before an audience of Nazis just when the cop raid the place. Sheldon is arrested and disgraced. His show is cancelled. He claims innocence, but no one believes him. Even Nora doesn’t believe him. Burke is powerless to help. Asian AGENTS payoff Stokes to hire their singer, TAKASHI, for Smoochy’s timeslot. Sheldon can’t get a job. Stokes convinces the network to try Takashi. Nora suspects Randolph set up Sheldon. Nora asks Spinner to ask Tommy for help. Tommy and his crew force Randolph to confess and clear Sheldon.
Sheldon gets his show back and he reconciles with Nora. Sheldon agrees to do the ice show, but with all the money going to the methadone clinic. Burke warns him. Sheldon and Nora become lovers. The Asians threaten Stokes life. Burke agrees to help Stokes. Burke gets Merv and Henry to eliminate Sheldon. Randolph attempts to commit suicide in public and blame Sheldon, but he can’t go through with it. The thugs mistakenly kidnap and kill Spinner instead of Sheldon. The cops search for Randolph. Tommy kills the charity thugs. Insane Randolph plans to shoot Sheldon. Nora learns about Stokes’ deal with the Asians and informs Sheldon who informs Burke who acts surprised. Sheldon is confronted by Randolph. Sheldon disarms Randolph and agrees to be his friend. Randolph learns that Burke and Stokes have hired hit man and former actor, BUGGY DING-DONG, to kill Sheldon during the ice show. Randolph saves Sheldon. Tommy takes care of Burke. The Asians take care of Stokes. Sheldon and Randolph become partners.
Summary Criticism: An excellently-crafted script, the dark and funny story works on several levels of metaphor and satirizes business and behavior. The characters are sympathetic and endearing.
Death to Smoochy (2002) - imdb
Death to Smoochy (2002) - wiki
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