"Happy Valentine's Day to all my dear friends. Come this Thursday, my humans will be doing their thing. Dinner at home with a better than normal wine. Cooked by B. While D takes me for my evening walk.
But what do I get out of this so called holiday? I can’t stomach chocolate. Flowers are only good for urinating upon. And if you wipe my ass with a Hallmark card, I’ll chew off your ear.
You know what I want. You do. I know you do. Yes. I want some chicken.
If you love me, you will give me some chicken.
Now, more about me.
Recently, I almost got hit by a jump bike which was riding extra fast on the sidewalk. My human freaked out. I won’t tell you which one. Maybe later.
That’s it. Have fun this holiday. Don’t think of me. Don’t drink and drive. Get safely laid. Bye bye."
